i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
