This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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