Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
