Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
