highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
