You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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