I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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