Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
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Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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