just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
