I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
