I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
