I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
