Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize