You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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