there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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