the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
