i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize