I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize