I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize