I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
