The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize