Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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