remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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