Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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