sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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