I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
