So drunk, too bad you don't want this
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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