Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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