I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
