is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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