All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
