so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
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