it was like his penis was on wheels.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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