Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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