I wish I could teleport
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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