put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
