I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
there is glitter all over my balls
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