i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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