In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
