Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
