I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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