Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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