She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
