i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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