i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
