my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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