Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
