I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
