remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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