the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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