i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love you. Go after that dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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