Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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