Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
