Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
