if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize