We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
