Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
