Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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