i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A bitchslap is in order.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
