It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
