I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize